Bedlam

Here are some really incredible photographs of patients from Londons Bethlam Royal Hospital also known as 'Bedlam' taken in the 1800s by Henry Hering

i really, really love this picture!

mourning picture

I found a stunning picture in my dissertertation book today by Edwin Romanzo Elmer, the 1890 family portrait depicts the artist, his wife, and their daughter Effie who had died shortly before it was painted. The painting is noted for its intricate detail and the contrast between the mourning family, who sits in relative darkness, and the dead daughter, who is bathed in sunlight.

I've given up on real women, i prefer living with dolls

Gordon hasn't been on a date with a real woman in more than a decade, instead, the factory worker has sex with two life-size dolls, Brooke and Kelly. He firmly believes his rubber 'friends' are better than living breathing women.
"If you told me when i was 18 that my sex life would revolve around two dolls, i'd have laughed in your face"says Gordon, now 42, "but they're the most important things in my life, i don't care if people are repulsed"

"I imagined i'd find the right woman but it never worked out. Now Brooke and Kelly are in my life instead"
"girls never called me back, or said we'd be better off as friends" he says, "in a year of online dating i didn't get a single response, i got tired of being rejected"
So when Gordon saw a documentary about life size silicone sex dolls called real dolls, he felt he'd found the answer.
"The idea of going to prostitutes was discusting - this was more what i was looking for" he says "this way, i wouldn't have to bother with the hassle and expence of dating, and they wouldn't turn me down at the end of the night because of my crooked teeth and acne scars"
Gordon stared saving the £3,500 he needed to buy a real doll. "Once i decided i wanted one, i felt it couldn't happen fast enough" says Gordon, "I confessed to my mum because once the doll arrived i didn't want her seeing it in my bed and thinking i'd killed a girl" he laughs.
"This way i could put all the features and qualities of real women i fancied into one person, I decided my doll would be petite with long dark synthetic hair, blue eyes and A Cup boobs.
He ordered 4ft 11 Brooke in january 2000.
"when i opened the package she was perfect, far more attractive than my last girlfriend"

After unpacking brooke, removing her clothes and lying her on his bed, Gordon had sex with her.
"it was different to being with a real woman cause i had to do all the work", he admits. "But i soon got used to it, after one weekend with Brooke i realised i never wanted to date again. I couldn't bear putting myself through the rejection, and it was nice having someone to wake up to"
Within months gordon stared saving for another real doll, Kelly, cost £3, 800, and had real hair,


"They both give me the same thing, but i wanted to have the choice" he says.
He has moved into an extension on the side of his mums house in Virginia, US, and the dolls live in his bedroom, "there isn't enough room for them both, so Kelly sleeps in a bag on the floor"
he spends all his spare time with the dolls, taking it in turns to have sex with them up to four times a week, "we spend evenings watching TV in bed, I like touching their faces and spend hours brushing their hair so they look nice"
He dresses them conservatively, usually buying their clothes on ebay, "i'm not keen on low cut tops and makeup, i like them to look demure" he explains.

Once a fortnight he gives his dolls a bath, hanging them from a hook so he can wash them.
"my hair sticks to them and they pick up dust from around the house, I also like washing their hair so it smells fresh when i get up close to their faces"
hes so protective of his dolls that he secures them behind two doors with five separate locks while hes out at work. he rarely allows male visitors in the house, and doesn't take the dolls out.
"i'd hurt anyone who tried to touch my dolls" he says firmly. "I hate other men going near them and i'd never share them.
Gordon insists he'll never go back to dating real women, "i've got everything i need right here, so why bother?" he says.
"They give me more stability than a real woman could, they don't lie, they don't cheat and i can be totally selfish because they'll never let me down."

postmortem photography and memorial art

My dissertation topic, Postmortem photography and memorial art in the victorian times.
A massive interest of mine and something i feel i will be able to get motivated to research and write, i have some book wishlists for it, sleeping beauty by Stanley Burns would be a dream but i'd need to get a loan or something to buy it, secure the shadow by jay Ruby i am waiting on from the library, and the one i would love to get my hands on, The Harlem book of the Dead by James van Der Zee, this wonderful picture is by Van Der Zee and from that book



and some more stunning images

Childrens army

A Collage i made today using some of my vintage photograph collection

Union Springs

I was feeling abit down randomly one day over the summer, so i opened Google Earth, closed my eyes and zoomed in, deciding to run away to the place that was on the screen. I opened my eyes and it was the city of Union Springs in Alabama, i have to say i got quite excited cause i've been obsessed by America for some months now, so i would adore to live in Alabama, how damn cool would that be!? I've been researching Union Springs, my future home.....maybe, i'll at least visit it one day!


It actually looks pretty incredible, these houses are just what i am totally loving at the moment

Dennis

Our cat Dennis chilling out on the bed like he owns the place! hes a dude, got scared by the fireworks tonight

My Work Space

Finally got my work space all together and looking awesome! A much better enviroment to work in than last year


My Dolls heads in jars and oil burner.....

....And my suitcase of vintage photographs

Collage Children

My collage children, made using my collections of old photographs and Dolls, i did these over the summer. I think i'll progress and collage scenes and narrative images to go with stories